I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
