Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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