Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
