you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
operation have a gay friend backfired
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
