It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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