Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
