The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
