i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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