Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
