He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
