that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
