People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
