Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He kissed a someone with a penis
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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