I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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