that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
