; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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