my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
