bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
