Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
