apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
