Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
