we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
