Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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