I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm too high and old for this...
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