I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
