I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
