i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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