I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
