she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
