i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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