just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
