I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
