We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
