:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Someone shattered a urinal.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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