no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
