I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
