hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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