Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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