Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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