You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
