no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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