come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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