I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
40s are totally the cure
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
