If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My ass is underappreciated
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
