Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
