also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
