I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
