you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
