You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
