Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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