Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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