I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
